Pictures of the Family
January, 1999

So many things have happened by the start of the New Year.
First, my divorce.

"Today, I cried and cried... I had all sorts of feelings. Sadness,
immense joy, fear ..Sadness, because of memories and feelings of
defeat. You know how we were filled with dreams and hopes at the
start of a marriage?  For many years, I have denied myself,
denied my freedom, even denied my identity...all to no avail...

On the one hand, my spirit is overflowing with joy
because I see you and me looking at our bright future together...
two people so in love.  There could be no one whom I could
make all my sacrifices , whom I could give up my life for..except you...
I love you very much. You must know this."

Good Morning my Princess!! Tsups for you to start your day,
to start your new life...Oh, before all else, let me say,
Mahal na mahal kita!!!....If only I could have been there to
catch your tears I would have...I felt all your pain...
I felt all your hurt too...you know I love you so much and
I can't take seeing you feel these things...I promise to
make up for lost years with more love and devotion
than you could ever find from anyone else.."

January 10th to 20th, 1999
The Third Meeting

Your coming was a most-awaited event. Ryuko, Shouhei
and I were very excited while we waited with much patience and
eagerness at the airport for your arrival here in Japan.
Shouhei had just counted 372 passengers before you came out!...
Ooh! And there!!  I saw your big smile and we were in each
other's arms again as we ran to embrace with warmth and gladness. 
Never have I felt such comfort and joy than when I'm
encircled and protected by your love. Although it was your first
encounter with the children, they seemed to have known you for a
long time and it was very easy for them to  accept
you as you are. They recognize the happiness
that envelops me when I'm around you...

Your days with us were the happiest
moments in our lives as a family.  Filled with much
love, we spent each day as if it were the last...
each moment with you was truly special...

But then, you had to go....

"As I write this mail, my eyes are clouding with tears and thoughts of
you are overwhelming my mind. I could still feel your presence here
and my heart has so much pain now... I don't know if I could bear this
but I feel like dying a thousand deaths. Just as you have said, the
pain is hardest with the one who was left behind. My body has been
accustomed to your warmth, my heart to your constant love. Now, with
your parting, my soul is suffering so deeply... Oh, how I want to hold
you now, smell your breath, kiss your lips!! I love you so much...
never doubt this... All my desires in life point to just one goal..
that is to make you happy..."

"I'm missing your warmth terribly...missing your smile...
missing your comforting ways...You've given me hope again and
all I can do is to think about when we can be back together again.
I know now more than ever that we have no other choice
than to be together.   Your energies give me so much strength...
without you I die a slow death..Without you I am nothing..
My only reason for existence now is to take care of you...
If I can do this, I know I too will find eternal happiness.
My heart is breaking right now...tears are forming from behind my eyes
and flowing down to my heart... You know I've dreamed of you
even before we met...I've seen you as the perfect companion that
I believed never could be.. now I know that it can be...
our happiness depends only on our oneness...
Your love and thoughts have inspired me...
and I only hope my love and thoughts can comfort you and
bring you the happiness that you deserve so much. "

Now, we are faced with beautiful thoughts of our future.
We believe our oneness is inevitable...
Step by step, breath by breath, we struggle to walk
down the rough road towards our togetherness...
I could only give you my unfailing devotion
and everlasting love...
May these be your strengths as you set your wings free
to fly home to me..Don't ever doubt but always believe...
I love you...
And I am waiting...

A Beautiful Love Story


I love you because of your tender touch,
You have a way that truly means so much.
I love you because, we also work together,
A day of sunshine, and through stormy weather.


I love you when you are well or when your sick,
When your clothes are clean, your hair brushed slick.
Its a day of pleasure for me when I am by your side,
I love you just for being there with me when I cry.


I love you because you always try to understand,
I love you because you are happy to be my man.
We have shared our dreams and good times too,
You were there to comfort me when I was blue.


We will have days and many years for us to share,
Remembering the good times and how much you cared.
Our true love for each other will never, never end.
We will let others know how our lives just blend.

*Dedicated to James & Ness*

In Love, Always with pen in hand,
Sandy Zentgraf

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